Everyone has those days, sometimes it’s months, and in some cases, it’s even years.
For me, it’s been years. Three, maybe four, if you want to really get technical. A couple of people who I considered very close friends started to turn on my husband, some of his family, and myself. My husband saw it coming first and warned me, he warned all of us, our mutual friends who were involved, even one of the two people who were starting to turn on us. None of us listened right away, claiming that “[they] couldn’t possibly do that!” and coming up with excuse after excuse for them and their actions.
Until a couple of mutual friends and myself started to see things and began to notice a pattern of behavior developing. One of these people would only hang out if the other person of this couple was around, but if it was to be time spent just the two of us, this person would cancel, coming up with excuses like headaches or their kids were sick, but anytime I mentioned that person #2 of this duo was going to be there, sure enough! Person #1 showed up.
The stories go on and on. I could write a book about all of the things that Person #1 has done to me, my husband, our friends, and my husband’s family, but that’s for another blog on another site.
Anyway, for years now, I’ve held in my feelings about the situation with these two people. I’ve constantly bit my tongue, clammed up, swallowed my words, smiled pretty, and played nice, but I couldn’t take it anymore. Over the weekend this situation came to a head and an abrupt end. I said my piece, I got out what needed to be said – what I’d been thinking for years, and promptly told them to blow it out their ass.
Am I sorry? Do I regret it? Absolutely not. I finally feel at peace with myself. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Things will be weird for awhile, but they’ll even out. The funniest part about all of this, is that all of a sudden Person #2 is talking to my husband on a regular basis now. Imagine that! Apparently if I would have just taken myself out of the equation all those years ago! Ha, right! At least something good came out of this, besides the fact that I finally feel better that is.
I had some time to just sit at home, by myself, with nobody but the dogs and the cats, with the TV muted (not off! Have to keep the dogs occupied…) blasting some music (Syd Barrett, to be exact) and working on my current project, working on laundry, and talking with some friends over Facebook and through text. It was a nice opportunity, one that I don’t get very often. There’s always someone home with the TV on way too loud and they’re always riling the dogs up. I really needed a chance to just wind down, to center myself, to relax.
Sometimes, you just need to say what needs to be said, bottling things up hasn’t ever been good for anyone, even if it causes some friction between everybody in your life. You, as a person, need to maintain your own happiness and well being before you can make other people happy or move forward with your life. It’s hard to remember that, and even more difficult is to remember to practice it.